Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Fast Forward Two Years (3/24/16)

It's been two years since Sered/LoQun ascended. Blanche has turned into a city of ruin. There are gangs everywhere, and rampant fighting. Nyland has taken control of Devereaux. Hollis is the Queen's bitch. Zbornak has not been taking this well - was in a truce, but now wants to go to war with Nyland (Cold War Situation).

The crew has settled in Flume, a city-state outside of Petrillo. It's in a forest near a river, and people have to take boats to get anywhere. All of our reputations were intertwined with Sered, so we couldn't stay in Blanche. Here's the recap:
Durga and Aceldama usually kick it at The Tufted Deer Pub. Treasure-seekers/bounty hunters/bouncers for the pub.
Fade gets further involved in the Shadowfell organization.
Xolo roams around the countryside and pops up sporadically.
Fah Efro also made her way to Flume when Blanche fell.
D. Bearcharger (a new acquaintance) already lived in Flume. Has been studying in the forest. Kinda a loner monk, but comes into the pub from time to time.

We all heard some whispers about treasure in the woods. It might be bullshit, but we could at least get control of some trading road.

We see a cave mouth in a clearing through a non-animal created path. Hear some creatures going down the tunnel; perceive that it is probably some underground troll-like creatures. Durga kills a grimlock, but its scream summons three more beasties.

Eventually we come to a purple/reddish flame wall. Encounter a hook horror. After the fight, the Hook Horror runs away. D. Bearcharger has a thunderwave spell to push the hook dude through the flame wall. Everyone except Aceldama holds on to the body and goes through the wall too.

After some time. the others in the crew kill both corpses and stand them up so Aceldama can squeeze through.

We enter a room with five tunnels branching off. We take option E: a room full of grimlocks. We clear them out. Down a wide tunnel we find treasures [4000 gold, 1 amethyst, 1 pearl, 1 taurmaline {Durga takes the $$$, Aceldama the gems}, a hat of disguise & staff of adder for Fah, sword of vengeance for DBC]

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

the Ascension (2/11/16)

Galder is DEAD!!

LoQun keeps the wedding calm - gleeful laughter from Galder who becomes a glimmering image rather than an actual body. The spirit stands up - a god called Ali-Demara; god of wine, joy, entertainment, & jokes. Misery, tolerance, and solemnity are the greatest poisons to the soul.

As a quick recap: The Will have ties to Clayton and also possess the Tiefling sword
LoQun anime laughs. Gets props for dealing with the Prothumia. We are instructed to Kill the Will or they will kill our Rakshasha friend! Ali-Demara leaves behind some $$ and potions, also a 6x9 flying carpet that can hold up to 800 pounds.

LoQun's Rod of Rulership has nearly everyone under her control. LoQun wants to take someone else out to expand her queendom. The priest wants the wedding to over. People will remember whatever happened to them under LoQun's spell. We decide to just have a party for the remaining seven hours. Some questions are asked: "Is there anyone who is part of the Will?" - 0 people respond. "Heard of it?" - about 65 people. One person knows someone in the Will. A lady named Susan wearing a shitty dress knows a low-level member. Last she heard, he was going to Devereaux - to Blanche! We learn his name is Steve and that he left about 4 days ago. We get Susan a better dress and feed her, but then we need to leave.

Durga really wants to ride the magic carpet back to Blanche. The rest of us take the caravans. Durga obviously gets back first and finds the city under siege. There are smoky grasshopper monsters that can fly at the walls and doors attempting to break in. Durga does some scouting while waiting for the rest of the crew to show up. The monsters seem commanded and keep focused on the main door.

Durga flies the carpet into the city and into LoQun's house. She goes to see a guard (that she maybe slept with) and offers to help. She comes up with a wet rock situation and finds that dumping water on the beasts knocks them on the ground.

In the distance, three humanoid figures approach. They are perceived to be the commanders. 1.) White dude with head tattoos and two guitars, 2.) Woman with full armor and a cloth mask over her face, 3.) Older half-orc man with sword and red and gold robes. We decide number 3 is Steve.

The crew shows up the next morning. Fade poisons the Mad Max-ish #1 and Aceldama finishes him off.  LoQun dissonant whispers a spear man and frightens him away. The monsters attack all of us. Durga clears out the board and takes out the armor lady.

The Return of the Rod of Rulership. We need to interrogate Steve. He basically blathers fanatic nonsense and holds some racism against gods. Blanche is a target of attack because of LoQun...

The Will are on an extra plane using the Tiefling sword to attack gods with the goal of exterminating them. Things are shitty for us because LoQun is undergoing the process to transition into a god.

LoQun sends Steve back to the Will as a "controlled messenger" with an instruction to them - Stay Away From Blanche Assholes!

LoQun ascends ....we are both happy for her and are at a loss without our somewhat evil leader...

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Sham Glitter Wedding (1/14/16)

"Hanging out, doing stuff, at LoQun's house - luv her cuz she's hot"

We are invited to attend the wedding of the youngest daughter of the Queen of Nyland (a crazy matriarchy). After some hesitation, we decide to accept the invitation because it will either be a fancy party or a chance to fight, so win-win!

Traveling in black caravans, we are escorted by Nyland knights for three days of travel to Perhonen. In the middle of the first night, a group of bandits attack. We killed those dudes and were pleasantly surprised to see our knight-escorts helping. We decide to stay in an inn. After a brief montage sequence, we arrive in Perhonen.

Once we arrive and check in, we find that LoQun has a suite (obvi), Aceldama, Durga, and Fade all have modest rooms, and Xolo is left with a broom closet. Fade and Xolo go sneaking around independently and run into each other. Xolo questions a maid about the guest list - he charm spells her and claims he needs to know for fear of running into an ex - she tells him that Leoland the cleric has the list, and she upgrades his room.

Fade gets into the rafters in the knights' barracks. Turns out to be pointless, so she goes back to her room to masturbate.

The castle is a retreat of sorts/summer home for the matriarchy. The Princess is quite vapid and kicks it here all the time while she parties and acts like a basic.

Aceldama slept through the night, and decides to get an early start by hitting up the local blacksmith. She's in the market for some kitten armor for Amparo.

The Demon Report: the princess is not magic and she slept a lot. Couldn't find the prince because we don't know who he's supposed to be. LoQun decides to network with the nobility to gather some more intel on the Prince-to-be...and also to determine whose kingdoms she can conquer.

Xolo heads out to the cathedral to speak with Leoland. He asks to see the guest list, is swiftly denied, so slips into the shadows.

Durga goes drinking and hears that many people are getting charmed.

LoQun goes to the nobility mixer - it's boring. She finds out that the prince is named Grimsley. He's handsome, but he's only been around for a month. There's also some dude who doesn't want Grimsley to marry Princess Novelle. Additionally, Leoland is out to get the royal family because he's been slighted, but he's excited for the wedding. Basically, not much is known about Grimsley other than he seems to be a distant cousin of the princess and comes from the Throbbin Peninsula.

Fade is bathing and overhears some maids who believe the marriage is cursed because men from the Throbbin Peninsula can't marry women.

The Captain of the Guards goes to talk to Leoland and seems miffed by the marriage. Xolo follows the guard who is asking around about Grimsley. She seems very not into him, and perhaps has a crush on the princess? Aceldama overhears that the prince is just into the money, and further verification that the princess is pretty much an idiot.

Fade gets out of the bath, pulls a knife on one of the maids. Learns that no one has seen the prince in days. Fade runs back to her room.

Guests get corsages and LoQun's demons are in place. Everyone is tense. People show up with their guards. Servers are clearly undercover security and the place is full of magic energy. The crew recognizes that Grimsley is none other than stupid Galder the Glitter Wizard! LoQun is furious! When it gets to the part where objections happen, LoQun sentences Galder to death and tells the crowd that he's wanted in Blanche.

LoQun rips off her Sered illusion. Xolo creates a spectacle of color spray. LoQun casts "Rod of Rulership" over member of the wedding and the guards. Mass amounts of fighting ensue.

The corsages contained a hypnosis spell....There's a glitter explosion as Galder gets his throat slit...

Monday, January 11, 2016

Meet Fah Efro

Lo'Qun is in Hollis not just for a treaty, but also for some magical items. We questioned Timothy Phreak about this, but of course he isn't helpful. While poking around, we run into Fah Efro - a half-elf sorcerer looking for a new outlaw life. Also looking for $$ and a talisman under Hollis...

We decide that we could use more talent for protecting Devereaux, so Lo'Qun hires Fah on a probationary period. The dungeon is pretty dank. There's a flagstone floor and no light. Rumored to have been created by dwarves and left alone for centuries. We sense magic from the left.

Open a door. It's a large room. Aceldama and Fade end up falling. Lo'Qun, Durga, and Fah go into archway. Durga busts open a door and finds blood-covered walls. Lo'Qun gets demons to sign his book, feeds them, and then makes them leave. They serve her now, but aren't "servants".

Vagine lasers are back ! [and some other nonsense] The crew is into Fah and her whipping around a burning weave. Also, she does an arcane check and finds a stone of good luck.

We encounter an Earth Elemental (slow Keanu) that can move through stone and earth. It is resistant to bludgeoning, piercing, and poison. Lo'Qun does a kegel to get lasers to cross and do a lot of damage. Xolo is a rotten thief. Lo'Qun still gives him the Ring of Jumping, but no money. Durga gets a Sword of Vengeance; Fade a Cloak of Protection, Fah - something Elven. Aceldama does not get a present, but if there is an AC bonus treasure later, she has dibs. For now, 40% of the profit = 1802 gold pieces.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

5th Edition! Xolo! Lo'Qun! Gender Adjustments! (11/12/15)

It's been a few months. We went back to Blanche and the big news is that Sered is no longer Sered, but "Lo'Qun - Exarch of the Branch" her former drag identity and is back to ruling HER city. She was reincarnated into an evil Deva (Rakshasa) with a tiger head and upside down hands.

We all return to stabilize and learn more about Lo'Qun's transformation. Despite new tiger/hand characteristics, can still look like Sered. Ioun now has the Prothumia, but there is still a conflict over what to do with the book (hide vs.public) Ioun also wants knowledge to free everyone. Tries to sever ties with Sered's link to zer God. Makes a pact with the Prothumia to protect zerslef from dying, but becomes a Rakshasa to live (a type of warlock). The book is the source of her power.

Xolo is our new friend. He had a falling out with a devil dude and met Fade at a rogue convention in Blanche.

Fade took off a headscarf and it turns out that he is a lady with white hair. Sister Githzerai time! Sad about losing her shadow power.

Durga has been drinking herself into oblivion.

Aceldama has been playing with and training her new panther kitten, Amparo. The panther was a present from Lo'Qun.

There have been no teleportation times from Nave. Fade's ties to the Shadowrealm have become strained. Sered's falling out with Ioun made the Raven Queen mad, so she took away all of our presents.

Blanche is having a poverty time. Lo'Qun is still in charge, but the Council basically runs things. Hollis is a neighboring city whose borders are growing closer to Worlington. Worlington tries to make a public show of belonging to Nyland (because fancier) as big fuck you  to Devereaux. They are trying to secede.

The girl gang is accompanying L'Qun to a trade agreement. Timothy Phreak is the key dude to get involved with keeping Blanche in power. Lo'Qun is paying us to keep her company. We take a black carriage to make an entrance.

The goal is to forge an alliance with Hollis and to war against Worlington. Xolo is looking for the bathroom. Fade is creeping around behind the guards. Timothy wants to know what Blanche can offer. Lo'Qun intimidates straight-off. Wants fealty sworn. Offers to work together to get Worlington.

Xolo and Fade are in the shadows. Lo'Qun can telepathically communicate 30 feet in any direction. We fight with the guards until they are dead. Timothy Phreak was subjected to several illusions, but is freed from them. Lo'Qun declares him her bitch with her creepy hand while he stares down milky tentacles.

Sered Gets Raptured, Dino Claw (7/29/15)

Picking up seconds from last episode - Sered still has the Prothumia. Everyone is standing in the library, then Sered disappears with no effect. We are chill with the remaining priests and paladins. "Ioun has plucked Sered from out realm to Her realm". He got fucking raptured!

Fade cries. Noreak doesn't.

After ten minutes everyone wants to leave. We leave a scroll for Ohad saying "Look for us in town Hunty!"

Research montage: Re: interrealm travels. Very dangerous. Many things can go wrong. Subject to other gods. Getting stuck. Going too far.

We head back to Blanche. On the first day of traveling, Aceldama's horse gets spooked and throws her off. She's fine, but the horse bolts. After a bit stops and seems stressed out.

On Day 2, Aceldama & Fade's horses get spooked again. Noreak notices something moving around, like an eel in the air, or ripples in a circle [Sered and zer vagina chains??] The thing materializes more. It looks silvery with lots of teeth, but no eyes. Durga smashes the eel! Then 7-8 creepy medium visible things run into the forest. "Not Misty"'s head gets rended off and pulled into the air. A bunch of eels attack at one time. Durga cleaves the eels to death. Now scaly monkeyish creatures rush.

A stingray pterodactyl arrives while we are still fighting the monkeys. When the pterodactyl dies, a bunch of eels and a behemoth show up.


Fade runs off the map and sees a rend/portal. Something is poking out - a huge black rock? a talon?

Durga gets taken by a pterodacytl into the rend. She is failed by her strength. Inside the rend is unsettlingly flat, crimson red, no moon, no sun, and incredibly hot. There are dark clouds, but they are actually clouds of eels. We figure out that this is a dinosaur monster. It is huge, bigger than most cities, but it is dead. His talon is the "rock" creating the portal.

Fade and Aceldama go get horse blood from "Not Misty" to smear on the dinosaur finger flesh so that the eels will chew the finger off and close off the rend. Eels eat the flesh, but lose interest in the bone.

Noreak uses Word of Suppression aimed at the knuckle. It's taking too long so Fade summons his shadow twin to punch the bone. Durga gets extremely impatient and jumps back into the portal, hits the bone, and it shatters. The claw gets pulled through to our realm. Fade Shadow Jr. loses a finger. We bring the talon back to Blanche to create new weapons out of its material.

Meet Misty, listen to "I'm Not a Slave 4 U" (5/29/15)

We have to leave Blanche. We don't know what's up with Nave, so Sered puts Anastasia (a parliament member) in charge of the city while we are gone. Fade has been developing a relationship with his horse Misty.

After one day of highway horse travel, we set up camp past the prairie in the woods. At the end of the third day we get attacked by a basic bitch, a nerd, a junkie, and two other creeps with warhammers.

The Veknacult attacks us to get the Prothumia. On the fourth day we get to the temple. The Githzerai siblings and Durga get a drink. Noreak and Sered head to the temple where they encounter Ohad, a high priest and librarian.

Ioun is realmmates with "Caroline & Paypal". Sered negotiates with Ohad since he can't do the ritual to contact Ioun. Ohad wants to put the book in the opulent library, but in the restricted section. Sered is concerned about what happens if the Veknacult comes and beats up the priests. As a compromise, they agree to give the book to Ioun as an offering. Noreak performs Flames of Purity, but the book won't light on fight. Sered tries Purging Flame then Balefire- it all just falls into a mountain.

Meanwhile at the bar...Fade and Aceldama confirm that they are siblings and they share the love of Githzerai hits such as "I Don't Want No Slaves" and "I'm Not a Slave 4 U". Durga whips out her boobs.

The crew climbs down the path from the Eye of Vireo. Misty the Black Stallion has to stay behind. We encounter Volar and some Paladins who found the Prothumia. Durga uses some titty-diplomacy. Volar wants the knowledge shared with everyone. Concerns about counterspells, and then Fade announces that "it had been a while" since we all went to church.

Volar and the group passes by. Durga, Sered, and Aceldama run up to the temple and hang out in the stacks. Meanwhile Noreak and Fade sneak and follow behind them.

Volar gives Ohad the book. Ohad thinks that not all knowledge should be public, and reiterates that it should be placed in a restricted area. We kill everyone in the library, except Ohad, who we still want to talk to. Consequences?? Cliffhanger...